- ISBN13: 9780449003718
- Condition: NEW
- Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
Product Description
A NEW YORK TIMES NOTABLE BOOK
A modern classic of personal journalism, The Orchid Thief is Susan Orlean’s wickedly funny, elegant, and captivating tale of an amazing obsession.
From Florida’s swamps to its courtrooms, the New Yorker writer follows one deeply eccentric and oddly attractive man’s possibly criminal pursuit of an endangered flower. Determined to clone the rare ghost orchid, Polyrrhiza lindenii, John Laroche leads Orlean on an unforg… More >>
I didn’t think it was a good idea; writing a whole book on orchids! couldn’t finish it.
Rating: 1 / 5
Let me explain the world of modern publishing for you. A writer’s agent pitches a book. The editor at the publishing company looks at it and says, “No, this will never sell. Not mainstream enough. Try the small presses who will pay dogsh#t.” What IS bestseller material? Well, here’s where it gets interesting. A can’t-miss bestseller that is sure to garner wild critical acclaim is a book that is:
VERY LONG
VERY BORING
VERY POINTLESS
VERY VULGAR
Why, you ask, is this the formula? Bend close and I’ll tell you: Because people don’t actually read these books. People pretend to read them. Then they recommend them to others, who then pretend to read them. Critics don’t read them either. You kidding me? Do know what kind of attention critics pay to anything? About as much attention as anybody pays while on the job: as little as possible, am I right? No, they just hold their finger up to the wind and try not to stand out by differing from the herd opinion. They’ve heard its great, don’t even look at the book, write a review based on somebody else’s review and it goes from there. All a bestseller must have is the LOOK of a bestseller. It must be thick, it must have an exotic yet boring title and cover – just so you know you’re in for some real art. And it must be vaguely historical seeming so you feel you’re getting a real education while you have the unopened book lying next to you at the beach. Some relative of yours wanders over and makes some inquisitive noises about the book and you make noises back to the effect that its real great. The relative then hears Oprah talk about it – who also has not and never will read the book – and then goes and finds it prominently displayed on the new release rack at the bookmegastore. Thus is perpetuated el hustle. If I were a consultant to a publishing house I would advise them to save money by not having any print inside the book. What’s that you say? Save further money by gluing the book shut and having a hollow interior? No, the book’s gotta have that heft to it or nobody will buy it. You know, its gotta be real heavy material. Kapeesh?
Rating: 1 / 5
In this book is revealed John Laroche’s guide to “mutating” plants, and his general theory of mutation. Laroche says that mutation is responsible for some people being real smart. Like him, for example. He tells Orlean that what must’ve happened is that he was exposed to some kind of toxic stuff when he was young and was then mutated into the brilliant person he is today. I am not joking. This is in the book. Apparently either Orlean is making the whole thing up (quite possible) or John Laroche actually believes in a comic book account of genetic mutation. I guess this is where his lack of formal education really starts to show.
As any schoolboy who has not gone to school and instead has learned about life from reading comic books knows, people are mutated by being pivotally exposed to some radioactive or otherwise toxic agent. This is how they derive their superpowers. In the case of John Laroche, the superpower is extreme intelligence. Laroche then goes on to state that he has “mutated” lots of plants by putting germinating seeds in the microwave. Now, again, there is a popular misconception, propagated by the media, that microwaves are in some way “radioactive” This is not so. Microwave ovens do nothing but excite water molecules with non-visible light, making the water heat up. Laroche would have achieved the same result by putting the plant seeds under a heat lamp. The result would be that the germinating seeds would wither and cook and die. The result would NOT be that they would “mutate.” So this is all nonsense. The only thing difficult to determine is whether Laroche actually believes any of this. I’m guessing he just made it up as he went along while talking to a captive audience in the form of Susan Orlean.
Rating: 1 / 5
okay, here’s another run at why this is unbelievably bad writing. When I “watched” Adaptation (see my review of this stinker for details) I initially thought it was based on a fictitious book. When I learned otherwise, I couldn’t believe that such malarkey existed, though of course I should have known better.
Some writers are the biographers of Einstein. Some are the biographers of saints. Susan Orlean is the biographer of a piece of white trash with a mental disorder. It is supposed to be very quixotic and eccentric, but at bottom we are hit with a guy who is an obsessive collector of random things. He is also not above breaking the law to suit himself, hence the title. In this degenerate age, this is all we can hope for when looking for an exemplary life. This guy’s life is not even very interesting, let alone inspiring.
And then there is the matter of disingenuousness. The author tells the reader that Laroche – the collector – was writing a guide to growing plants which he was going to advertize in High Times. However, marijuana plants “grown according to his instructions would never mature and hence would never be psychoactive.” See, this Laroche is keeping kids on the straight and narrow. We should laud him. Except for the fact that this “information” is completely false. I have grown my fair share of marijuana and have found first-hand that it certainly is not just budding plants which are psychoactive. In fact, sadly, not one of my plants ever made it that far: I smoked them long before that.
So if this part is a load of BS, just think what else may be completely made-up.
Rating: 1 / 5
this book really didnt keep my interest. but i had to read it for school. so yea.
Rating: 3 / 5